Stigma nation: behind closed doors

Following on from the horrific, tragic and almost unimaginable events that unfolded in Ballyjamesduff, Co. Cavan, I have been circulating my new Facebook cover photo (done up in like 5 minutes using online software, so please, steal away. I don't want any ownership rights to this image if we can all simply help in getting the word out to those who need it). As a voluntary organisation it can be hard to promote such facilities -suicide is a touchy subject, not really something spoken of or asked about in many everyday occasions. As a volunteer for this organisation I've had a lot of people ask, "what exactly do SOSAD do?". Some hear the terms like "suicide prevention", "suicide intervention", but they don't quite know what services that entails. Each office has its own projects, but the general resources that we all provide are listed in this cover picture. Along with all the contact information for each office. If you would like the full size of this image to use as Facebook cover photo (this one is condensed), please mail me via my Facebook page.

If you are struggling, need help and even if you don't live near any of our offices, please ring the nearest phone number to you and one of the volunteers will assist you in any way possible. Please, ring us. Ring anyone. If you are on long HSE waiting lists to see someone, come see one of our trained and free counselors instead. If counselling isn't for you or you are unsure, just ring us for a casual chat over the phone... No one should fall through the gaps of the health service, no one should feel help isn't out there. But we need assistance with getting the word out that organisations like this exist, so please do share the numbers. To help further support this cause consider liking the SOSAD Facebook pages, which really only take a second and provides a basis for free promotion that is so desperately needed:

SOSAD Ireland
SOSAD Dundalk
SOSAD Carrickmacross
SOSAD Cavan
SOSAD Navan
SOSAD Tullamore
SOSAD Events

And see their website here: SOSAD Ireland website


But lets take a step back -suicide and mental health are very much only one element to this confusing, saddening scenario. Murder, possible long-term abuse, communities and families devastated by the complete shock... No warning signs, no clues as to what went on prior to this day. And perhaps the family and friends will never have answers; a tragedy within a tragedy. So here we are with two sides of the rationale forming within Irish communities.

Stop telling children they can be anything they want to be - They can't. And that's ok !

I'm a big believer in making your own life and not depending on "what will be, will be", wishing things/ magic woo or blaming others for your situation. In this life hard work, actually DOING gets you places -no matter what wishy-washy quotes on Facebook tell you.

You cannot be anything you want to be -Disney and your parents lied to you. That's ok though! If you could, life would be far too easy. Boring, even. Have faith in yourself, of course, but back it up with actual action. It may still all fail and fall apart, but you tried -You didn't wait for faith to screw things up instead. If it makes you feel better that "it wasn't meant to be", "God must have better plans for me", -Sure, go with that. But sometimes, can we not just admit that hey that's life, and sometimes life is shit? Can we be practical about it for a minute? 

When outcomes are out of your hands, such as with chronic illness and disease, then adapt. Change. You can control how you feel and you can control how you alter your life plans... as a kid I wanted to join the police. I kept this dream with me into my teenage years. I loved art and writing too but wanted to keep these as hobbies, rather than a career. I think it was at 17 I realised joining the police would never be possible -I could not run. I simply fell over my own legs when I tried to. I had known deep down, of course, that my health and abilities had been declining for years. But I had ignored it, pretended I didn't care much for running and sports rather than the truth that I was struggling to do them... That realisation devastated me, more than I actually even

My big fat, non-hysterical lady parts would like to make an announcement

Lets talk about depression and social anxiety: No, I do not have them. And that should be the end of the discussion, right? Except I do not own a penis and so do not have that luxury -and have instead been blessed with fabulous lady bits, both in physicality and mind (mostly).

We might joke about "hysterical ladies", and our periods, having melt-downs over other women wearing the same (usually Pennies/ Primark) clothes as ourselves and being jealous over what both our boyfriends and friends do or do not actually get up to, but when did all this joking become the norm? the actual reality? -I don't have social anxiety, and that scares people. Am I really the last female left who hasn't succumbed to this bizarre phenomenon, or are my generation being led astray by the biased views of doctors and the ever increasing idea that we should be frail, afraid of everything and basically causing hysteria within ourselves?

An example of what we're talking about:
A woman goes to her doctor, she's experiencing sudden on-set migraines and they are affecting her sight and general quality of life. She has tried over the counter pain relief but it is not helping. Now, you can bet that the first thing a doctor will ask is how she is feeling emotionally -Is she stressed, sad, is her boyfriend being nice to her? Has her tiny cotton candy brain had a wee fart because the dress she ordered from Ebay is taking too long to arrive from China? Most definitely she has some form of social anxiety, for she has but only a vagina to protect her from the world. Or, even possible, is she a drug addict? That can tend to be prognosis number two, in many cases.

A man goes to the doctor with the same issues, and as he's a strong, bear like, hairy-chested creature with the emotional range of a shoe, he must indeed be in real, physical pain. Straight to the neurologist with you, so you can get that tumor removed and get back to punching rocks and shit.

Neither of these scenarios is pretty, both are