How to save a life

Many of you out there probably possess a donor card, or have expressed to loved ones that when the time comes, if viable, that you wish to save another persons life. And/ or donate blood from time-to-time.

But have you ever considered signing onto the Irish unrelated bone marrow registry? By signing up (via the form on that site) you will be notified the next time they are collecting in your area, or when a possible match shows up in the system.

For a lot of people out there, bone marrow donation saves their lives. Exactly in the way that blood and organ registries do -it is in no way different and should be acknowledged to the extent that they are. Please consider it... I used to be on the bone marrow registry myself but because of my HL history, I am no longer eligible to be a donor (same goes for blood and organs). This is the case for all those who have ever had blood cancer.

It was a big a blow for me to be honest. I had always had an organ donor card in my wallet just in case, and taking it out made me a bit sad. The first card I ever had was acquired from my local library when I was a kid (I'm pretty sure you have to be 18, or maybe it's 16 for the card to count but I insisted, lol). My sister showed me them and explained their purpose. I was amazed by the idea -that this tiny card could actually help save someones life. That the owner of the card could possibly (circumstances of death and quality of organs pending) grant life during their time of death in this way. But I was also utterly confused as to why such an initiative wasn't compulsory.

Bone marrow and stem cell donation saves the lives of women, men and children all across Ireland, who for a number of reasons do not have the option of requiring matches from family members. Leukemia, lymphomas and rare metabolic disorders are among the reasons why someone may require such a donation.

My big fat, non-hysterical lady parts would like to make an announcement

Lets talk about depression and social anxiety: No, I do not have them. And that should be the end of the discussion, right? Except I do not own a penis and so do not have that luxury -and have instead been blessed with fabulous lady bits, both in physicality and mind (mostly).

We might joke about "hysterical ladies", and our periods, having melt-downs over other women wearing the same (usually Pennies/ Primark) clothes as ourselves and being jealous over what both our boyfriends and friends do or do not actually get up to, but when did all this joking become the norm? the actual reality? -I don't have social anxiety, and that scares people. Am I really the last female left who hasn't succumbed to this bizarre phenomenon, or are my generation being led astray by the biased views of doctors and the ever increasing idea that we should be frail, afraid of everything and basically causing hysteria within ourselves?

An example of what we're talking about:
A woman goes to her doctor, she's experiencing sudden on-set migraines and they are affecting her sight and general quality of life. She has tried over the counter pain relief but it is not helping. Now, you can bet that the first thing a doctor will ask is how she is feeling emotionally -Is she stressed, sad, is her boyfriend being nice to her? Has her tiny cotton candy brain had a wee fart because the dress she ordered from Ebay is taking too long to arrive from China? Most definitely she has some form of social anxiety, for she has but only a vagina to protect her from the world. Or, even possible, is she a drug addict? That can tend to be prognosis number two, in many cases.

A man goes to the doctor with the same issues, and as he's a strong, bear like, hairy-chested creature with the emotional range of a shoe, he must indeed be in real, physical pain. Straight to the neurologist with you, so you can get that tumor removed and get back to punching rocks and shit.

Neither of these scenarios is pretty, both are

From potato to curly fries: Hair re-growth after chemo

As regular readers will know, I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma in December of 2013, and subsequently, shaved my hair off (video here).

When I was all baldy and potato looking, I naturally enough Googled how long re-growth generally takes after chemotherapy -and yes, obviously, everyone is different, but being human I absolutely love general guidelines. And the internet did not disappoint. Even better was hair stories with photo montages! Who doesn't love a montage? (*Que the montage song from Team America being stuck in your head for the rest of the day*).

♫ Soft Kitty, warm Kitty... Non-smoker Kitty, inhaler-using Kitty...

So sick girl is sick. Big news! Ha... I've had a... chest infection? Flu? (not 100% sure really) the last couple of months. It's mostly been fine, felt only like the end of a cold or something, but wouldn't go away. Then my temperature blew up, got chesty, yada yada... Long story short, I've been mostly bedridden the last two weeks, unable to breath/ sleep. Joints also been bit worse, I guess to be expected when I'm sick/ run down. The good news is that I'm off the cigarettes/ rollies! :) Totally by accident obviously, as I couldn't breath in deep enough to actually inhale, har! But good all the same, I knew I had to quit for a while. I gots myself one of those nicotine only sticks (the older version, not those fancy, sonic screwdriver looking yokes) but not using it very much, just good to have for when I next partake in alcohol.

Bad news is that I'm on my second round of antibiotics (I haven't taken antibiotics since having pneumonia when I was 19 -It isn't something I go into lightly), I now own an inhaler (because I didn't have enough medications and health-related accessories) and my immune

Goodbye cancer; hello old life

Soooo... As I've told yous all in a previous post, my doctors were pretty sure the cancer was gone, although they wouldn't take the plunge and use the 'R' word... and they still won't, har! But as I said, it's only a word... But -as of September 16th, 2014, after receiving CT results, I am officially cancer free.

I would like to take this chance to thank my family, friends and of course my dear Bicky who has both financially supported me through this time and made me laugh all the way through it... Again, I have to say, in the grand scheme of things, I am extremely lucky -As far as cancers go, I had a mere cold and nothing more.

I also need to thank my amazing doctors and nurses -without their advice, exceptional bedside manners and their honest/ blunt/ realistic outlook on the situation, I never would have coped as easily as I did. Especially in the early days. I really don't think doctors and nurses get the credit they deserve -especially in regards to cancer. Constantly, especially over the internet, they are undermined; their opinions viewed as

The 'R' word

So yesterday I (finally) had my first appointment since finishing treatments (chemotherapy and radiotherapy) with the haematologist...

He's very pleased with how treatment went, he searched and poked for any bumps around my body and could feel none, asked about side effects from treatment and how I am, had bloods taken, and all that general doctor stuff.

I had assumed (probably from ya know, television, as even still, that's where most my cancer experiences and ideas have came from!) that as it's the end of treatment he'd wana book me in for another PET scan as I had had a mid-way PET scan (after chemotherapy finished/ before I started radiotherapy). But this isn't the case. He explained that while every doctor is different, he doesn't see the need for having a PET scan so soon. His reasons include:

100 days of happiness… Day 8: Lovely friends who did a lovely collection

I'm really late in writing this up, so apologies to all (and of course I've been totally lacking in my '100 Days of Happiness' experiment in general!), although I've tried to thank as many people as possible, through Facebook, face-to-face... still, I feel it deserves a blog post also, as I really cannot express my gratitude enough....

My lovely friend Sarah, and the good folk at 23 Seats (see their Facebook page here, and give them a like: 23 Seats, and also give Sarah's art page a likey too: Studio Crow Street) organised a money collection for myself and Simon recently. Originally to help with travel to radiotherapy, although we then received a taxi service (from the lovely Carrickmacross Cancer Society). The money however has really helped towards general bills -which have unfortunately been on the back burner the last while (with issues in not receiving the medical card yet, etc.).

Just over €145 really is alot to us, and me and Simon really are so touched -I honestly had NO idea that this had been organised, and I feel so unworthy (although I was immediately warned by Sarah that I wasn't allowed to give the money to a charity... which I very nearly did, haha). Again, thank you all to everyone who contributed, yous are all absolute sweethearts!

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post

Many, many stupid people were attacked however.

-Like a lot of animal lovers, I think it’s safe to say most the time I prefer animals over humans. This is one reason that I've recently decided to take the jump from pescetarian to vegan. In general, for many reasons, it’s been something I have been considering for a while now. The main reason being, well, simply, I have nothing against animals. In fact, as I said, I really quite like them. I wouldn't wish death and torture on my worst enemies (most of the time anyways… we all have our killer moments), so why would I agree for it to happen to an animal I don’t have anything against? By eating meat, their milk and eggs, I'm simply saying its ok to torture and kill them, that I agree with that system and support it. I really don’t. So it’s time my actions fully reflected my opinions… simple as that really.

Oh and of course the obvious health benefits. And NO, I do not think food can cure cancer (fully, as in an actual, real cure) but YES of course, obviously, fruit and vegetables are the best thing you can possibly eat for your health and YES this in turn will prevent many diseases such as cancer (sometimes. we also have genes, environment and plain old bad luck to consider! Not every cancer is the same, not every cancer has the same treatment... etc., etc., I could go on but I want to believe you know all this already) –Just wanted to quickly clear that up; I am not, and never will, endorse any claim of simply having a healthy lifestyle to rid cancer. In my opinion, such things only work in conjunction with the advice and treatments from the real professionals. And supplements can be harmful with treatments, so always check first.   

I look like a potato -A kawaii potato

I found this picture on the internet a while ago, and honestly, laughed for ages… this is very much me at the moment, BAHAHAHAHAHAAA! :)

If you know me/ friends with me on Facebook, then you've probably already seen this video of me shaving my hair. I posted it mainly for friends –to see that I'm not deeply traumatised by losing me hair! It’s a weird thing, cancer and hair lose… effects people in such strange ways. I don’t mean the person actually going through it, I mean for the friends and families. 

I was only ever hesitant about shaving my hair off because

The end of treatment –The beginning of recovery

Thought I better split all the craic from the last while into two, as not to bore yas all too much with extra-long posts… again, apologies at sucking at regular blogging.

So as you may know, or have guessed, I have finished chemotherapy :) (For now/ hopefully forever). Here’s some tweets from my last day…

Exciting stuff.

Speaking of which, I’m waaay better at updating Twitter, so if you fancy following me you can do so here: @kittypotpie85

But of course, then came radiotherapy –BOOOOO! Three weeks, Monday-Friday, in Dublin. Worrying about us affording petrol for all these visits, Bicky (Simon) applied for help from The Carrickmacross Cancer Society who paid for a taxi service for us, for the whole three weeks! Seriously, absolute saints. Please give these angels a ‘like’ on Facebook and support them: Carrick Cancer 

….Speaking of money issues, I still DO NOT have my medical card. Yeah, seriously. Long story, so I’ll write up another post on this at a later stage…

For those that don’t know much about radiotherapy and wish to know what it entails, go here: External Radiotherapy 

Like with chemotherapy, there are some side effects, although most people find

PICCture this

My PICC line

Yes, yes I know –I have been absolutely AWFUL at updating this blog, yet again! I hereby vow to post at least once a week!

So just to keep yous all updated on the whole cancer thing… last time I posted, I was getting my PICC line inserted –I had managed to calm myself down, from talking to people on-line, who explained how simple and quick the whole thing is. Here’s how that ‘minor procedure’ went down…

Me and Simon arrived at the hospital for my 9am appointment. After a small wait, I was brought in and the nurses explained the procedure to me. I was feeling ok, considering –a hella lot better than I had been the day before anyways. The nurses were lovely too, which really helped. I lay down and decided to face the other way as the line was being inserted. The whole thing was pretty gross, but not too painful –I think it’s more knowing that a little line is being inserted into your arm up to your chest. After a few minutes it was in, and I was told to go downstairs for an x-ray –make sure the line was in correctly.

Afterwards, I came back upstairs only to be told the line needed to be adjusted. Not a huge deal –The nurses explained this happened sometimes. So again, I went in to the room with the nurses and again, downstairs to x-ray, and again back upstairs to wait for the main nurse.

The second the nurse entered the room, I knew by her face I needed another

Please don't PICC me...

Having a minor freak-out today about having my PICC line inserted tomorrow.... I know, I know -"It'll be worth it", "No more burning veins during chemo... the actual treatment will be faster... no more painful poking for veins that still work", BUT, that all said, still looks like a bloody horrible procedure.
Yeah, I looked up videos on YouTube like a big feckin eegit. Did not help me. At all.

For those interested, here's a video: PICC line insertion
And some info on what a PICC line is: PICC line (peripherally inserted central catheters)

Yeah so having cancer, not a huge problem for me apparently -but getting a relatively minor procedure and I'm being a massive whinge-bat (is that a term? I think it is). Glad to see I have my priorities in order, har har.

I think with all the horrible vein experiences I've encountered the last couple months, I really just don't want any more.... but it'll be grand...

I've heard mixed experiences from people online who've had it done -some said it's just uncomfortable, others quite painful.... I'm being a huge baby right now I know, haha! Just have to remember that.

...And breathe, Kitty, breathe!

80's mom hair

Yep, another boring hair post! This is the last one, promise :P (mainly due to having very little hair left that I could actually cut off, haha)...
So haven't lost too much hair from the chemo in general, although it was getting dry and tangled and had to brush the knots out so much that I was loosing more than I should have been! So to combat this, just thought, 'fook it, you must go, stupid knotty hair', and so here's the result...

Sorry again for the smug/ creepy look -as I said before, selffies are not my forte. Cut it myself (again), which had my mum in a complete panic; bless her! Haven't been to a hairdressers in years that the thought of paying someone that much for something I could do myself seems silly.

In other news.... PICC insertion appointment on Monday, aggghhhh!!! ...Trying not to panic, although I really wish I could be knocked out for it (o_O)

Any advice from anyone out there who has one inserted would be much appreciated! Please comment below :)

Mid-way PET scan, exercise and other shenanigans

Sorry to my followers that I haven't been on here in a while -all is still good in case yous thought I was too ill to type :) Have just been trying to enjoy my time off college and work (have decided to defer); although still feel a bit like a useless bum!

So, the latest cancer news: Had my mid way PET scan last week and received results today from the haematologist.... everything is on track, the cancer is reducing and he said he's happy with the results/ it's what he'd expect at this stage. So, brilliant stuffs! I wasn't very worried anyway -I know from the online groups I joined, that even if the cancer had spread, Hodgkin's lymphoma is still very treatable and can just sometimes take longer than expected. But this is great news altogether! Continuing with the plan of 4 cycles of chemo, then radiation. Still to have a meeting about the latter and find out how much. I'm now on my third cycle of chemotherapy.

Chemotherapy side effects: Still doing relatively well with the whole side effects -have been very much so blessed in that way. Previous hip/ leg/ back pain, spasms and stiffness are still actually benefiting from the chemo drugs and have yet to go through a 'bad phase' since starting my treatment.... I'm going to be such a bitch when I finish and the pain comes back, har!
The dry rash on my hands has now progressed to swelling, mainly around the nails, and is causing some pain and numbness. This is apparently due to the drug that burns the hell outa me.

PICC insertion: The haematologist has said that I really should get a PICC line inserted because of this, and my general shit veins, so he's booking an appointment. For those that don't know, the PICC line is a semi-permanent tube inserted into the vein in my arm and up my chest, which will allow for a much handier drugs treatment as they won't have to poke the feck

Acupuncture for chemo side effects

I've been going to acupuncture for my chemotherapy side effects since I was diagnosed -before I even actually started the chemo, and I think it's helping loads! So just wanted to give a big shout-out to Acupuncture4Health. If you're on Facebook, please give their page a likey by clicking here: Facebook - Acupuncture4Health and if you live in Co. Louth, Co. Monaghan areas (Ireland) and ever in the need of acupuncture for whatever reason, I highly recommend here :)

Thank you please!

...So I'm interested in knowing, any chemo buds who are reading, have you tried any/ many non-traditional medical alternatives for side effects? And if so, what's your views? Post a comment below. Or even if you've tried said alternatives for other reasons, or simply have a general view, feel free to post too.

Survival guilt, feeling like a fraud, and viewing disability as a personality trait

Again I'm posting on two issues here, comparing my older illnesses with my new (and hopefully temporary and short-term) condition of Hodgkin's lymphoma.

1. Survival guilt
Usually reserved for those who have well, actually survived cancer or illness and came through the other side, I think I actually began to have this feeling from my first chemotherapy session -if not even from diagnoses.

I wouldn't say I was in denial about having cancer, or that I am now, but the reaction of the doctors made me feel that not only would I probably be ok, but that I was lucky. This is all well and good, and I do definitely believe it! However, that little fact only helps to produce feelings of guilt in me towards sicker people... particularly when I go to the chemotherapy sessions. You see people who are clearly sicker than you, you overhear conversations of the types of cancer they have, of their stories, of the horrific amount of times they have went through treatments. That's when I feel like a fraud.

2. Feeling like a fraud
Now, don't get me wrong blogger friends, I aint totally crazy. I do realise that I also have cancer (again, not in denial, folks) and that these feelings are quiet ridiculous -although at the same time, probably quiet normal. AND I realise as my chemotherapy sessions progress, I will indeed feel, and look, sicker -unless I'm one of those freaks who gets hardly any symptoms. Please, let me be a freak!

...but that's the thing I guess, the old issue of  "Oh, you don't look unwell?", going back to the hip dysplasia and associated issues (and perhaps some un-associated issues). From work colleagues, friends, and general people. And don't get me wrong, most the time people didn't mean any harm -I am aware of that. And I know that looking healthy should be a positive thing! But in all honesty, it can be hella annoying at times. Trying to explain to someone why you can't physically do something and they're looking at you

My new treatment plan

Yesterday seen the start of my second round of chemotherapy (my third actual session -2 treatments in one round). My haematologist came and spoke with me during it and said that he discussed my case with colleagues and a radiologist in Dublin, and they've decided that I will hopefully only need 4 chemo sessions (8 actual treatments -woooo!), and then some radiation (boooo!). Not sure how many radiotherapy sessions yet -the radiologist will tell me more when I meet with her after the 4 rounds of chemo.

He pointed out that they usually do the radiation for Hodgkin's lymphoma in combination with chemotherapy, however when the cancer is in the chest, they are weary of using it on women, particularly young women -there's an increased risk of developing breast cancer in the future because of the radiation. But they weighed up the risks and have decided it's for the best anyway. Apparently my cancer is far enough up the chest area that they hope further cancer as a result of treatment won't be an issue. He's such a lovely and smiley doctor -he could tell me standing on my head was the best treatment, and I'd probably do it. So I trust him on this one.

So that's the current plan... I've learned from other blogs, forums and Facebook groups that 'the plan' can change, but for now, we're running with this one. Everything will depend on my PET scan of course, which should be

Non-mom hair

Sooo yeah, when I get bored, I get addicted to dumb things. Like cutting my hair. So this happened...

 

I shaved the side (which I had previously done but it needed re-doing), also took more hair off that side and the back, and generally cut the hell out of it again. Feck you, Jennifer Aniston, I have escaped the 90's layered 'feathering'! ...way trendier. Or it would be, if I didn't wear bow hair-bands, and generally look about 17.

During the photo taking (again, sorry about shit computer camera quality!) a little messing began, courtesy of Simon and the dogs...

  

  


In the third photo there, Simon is trying to give me some of his long, curly locks, har! That's a blurry Emily in the forth picture, and Louis in the fifth -My little family! :)

How being sick helped me cope with being sick

I've mentioned this briefly in an earlier post: Being already somewhat ill has helped me cope with the chemotherapy side effects -The ones I've had so far anyway!

Such funzies include:

1. Bone pain
As most of yous will know, either form knowing me or from reading the blog, I get quite a bit of this already from the hip dysplasia  and associated health probz! Pain is a big ball of shite, but having it from birth has built me up a little tolerance.... K, maybe not a tolerance, rather than I'm used to it. The chemo pain is a bit different and tends to cause most the pain in upper back and ribs (rather than upper hip, thigh, knee, arm, upper back and shoulder). Still, as I said, used to it.

2. Fatigue
Pain usually accompanies fatigue and my body is no different. When going through a typical 'bad phase' I tire easily or can't actually get up in the morning. Since starting chemo I've had only a couple of days where I needed to nap and have actually had very hyper, energetic days where I could do loads and still have energy! I'm going to put this down to the steroids which I have to take the first four days after each treatment. So, to summarise, I like steroids.

3. Nausea/ Vomiting
With a hiatal hernia like mine it's no wonder I don't vomit more (yep, that's right, another health thing -don't think I mentioned that before. Falling apart at the seams, I am! ...it's kinda related to the other health issues so lets

Positive vibes, man!

I'm really fed up of the word 'positive' at this stage -not what it means, just the actual word. I wish there was another word for it. I've used it so much since being diagnosed with cancer, and have heard it so much too. Truth is, I didn't realise how much of a 'positive' person I was before now. Not only in coping with having Hodgkin lymphoma but also at the rather annoying 'looking on the bright side' crap I've been doing with every situation involved in such a diagnosis.

Example A. -Loosing my hair. I've read in blogs and Facebook groups other people's stories, particularly women, and how it's been one of the hardest side effects to come to terms with. Even though I haven't lost mine yet, I can't help but look at new hats I'm going to buy and hope that my hair grows back curly -having curly hair would be nice (for those who don't know, after chemo your hair can grow back different colours and textures!). Example B. -Fatigue, and how from my point of view, being able to fall asleep easily will be a welcomed change. I've had some fatigue but not the last few days -I'm soo hyper and full of energy for some reason. Although I read this can be normal in the beginning.... and there's a host of other