How to tell when you're old af

As my 31st birthday approaches, I'm reminded of how old I am (I assume that's the point of birthdays).

Yes, I'm old. And yes, of course it's all relative -you may be reading this and be 60 and all like "STFU, wench". But anyways, my point is, I'm officially not "young"... Do you know how I know I'm not young? I am happy to be old. The last year I have developed into this stage of my life where instead of being all like, "man, I wish I was I was 23", I think "man, I am delighted to not be 23".

Anyway, enough quotation marks! If you are still unsure if you qualify as old AF/ not young, then read over my list to determine...

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1. You learn to ask for sauce on the side

No I don't mean metaphorically, although you are apparently a guru in everything that you perceive as "alternative health" as well as sassy life advice. I mean in restaurants, dining out. I used to hear people ask for that, or similar requests. And to be honest, thought -wut?

I'm not a regular at going to restaurants, but the older I get, the less sauce I want. Not even a calorie control thing, as with

100 days of happiness... Day 4 & day 5: Doggies & juicing

And so here's the happiness posts for Monday and today... This experiment is harder than I thought! Either that, or I'm a narky bitch! ...If so, doing this may be the cure for that...

Monday 26th May:

Doggies

When in doubt what to be happy over, animals are a good choice. On this day, my sleepy little fur-babies (aka dogs) were the things to make me happy. 

Emily

Louis (Lou-Lou bear) and Simon (Bicky)

Tuesday 27th May:

Juicing

I've had a really bad day with hip pain -sore to lie down, sore to sit up, sore to stand and near impossible to walk. So it's been hard as feck to find something to be happy about. I would usually say 'bed' in this circumstance (har) -Although as I said, cannot get comfy lying down... so bed, you can kiss my ass ya shithead...

As yas all probably know by now, I adore my juicer. Bicky too. It's a deadly way to get in the extra vitamins when ya just can't eat any more. After researching it a bit, we've decided to do a total juice "detox" (for lack of a better word, I'll use the dumb, unscientific terminology) -that is, eat nothing, just get all our nutrients from vegetable and fruit juice.

It's a great way for obese people to lose weight, while resetting their taste buds -from what I've seen and read, after about a month of doing it, when the participants go back to eating, they actually crave vegetables and fruit -rather than their usual chips and cheese burger (chips=fries, for my US readers). This can only be a good thing. This is kind of what happened to me when I was 13 and half-ish and decided to stop eating meat -I eventually went from being afraid of certain foods, to loving them. The more you consume something, the more you actually do like it. That was my main reason for turning to a mostly vegetarian lifestyle -I had extreme food issues (like many people -nothing on the plate could

No animals were harmed in the making of this blog post

Many, many stupid people were attacked however.

-Like a lot of animal lovers, I think it’s safe to say most the time I prefer animals over humans. This is one reason that I've recently decided to take the jump from pescetarian to vegan. In general, for many reasons, it’s been something I have been considering for a while now. The main reason being, well, simply, I have nothing against animals. In fact, as I said, I really quite like them. I wouldn't wish death and torture on my worst enemies (most of the time anyways… we all have our killer moments), so why would I agree for it to happen to an animal I don’t have anything against? By eating meat, their milk and eggs, I'm simply saying its ok to torture and kill them, that I agree with that system and support it. I really don’t. So it’s time my actions fully reflected my opinions… simple as that really.

Oh and of course the obvious health benefits. And NO, I do not think food can cure cancer (fully, as in an actual, real cure) but YES of course, obviously, fruit and vegetables are the best thing you can possibly eat for your health and YES this in turn will prevent many diseases such as cancer (sometimes. we also have genes, environment and plain old bad luck to consider! Not every cancer is the same, not every cancer has the same treatment... etc., etc., I could go on but I want to believe you know all this already) –Just wanted to quickly clear that up; I am not, and never will, endorse any claim of simply having a healthy lifestyle to rid cancer. In my opinion, such things only work in conjunction with the advice and treatments from the real professionals. And supplements can be harmful with treatments, so always check first.