In search of Achill-Henge

On March 5th, me and my beloved Bicky totally eloped, telling no one at all, and went and gots hitched. Yup. We hired two photographers who worked as our witnesses! That way we didn't have to tell only two loved ones, and try and choose between them all. It was beautiful, laid back and totally the no fuss day that we wanted. But more on all that later. If you're feeling particularly sound then give the photographers/ witnesses a like on Facebook - Mian Photography and Training - I really could not recommend them enough, whether it's your wedding, family/ baby pics you're looking for, or even fur-baby photo-shoots (some very cute ones on there, if for nothing else you should like the page for the cuteness). Very talented pair!

In my shoes

I was inspired to write this piece because of the brave and harrowing tales that have come out of late, on the Facebook page In Her Shoes. This is a marvelous page, and the perfect way for those who don’t understand the complexities of the 8th Amendment to see how it has affected everyday Irish women. When you’ve never been in a situation yourself, it might be difficult to grasp others stories -especially when each case is so different to the next. It’s also hard to understand how the 8th amendment effects far more than abortion laws and has had detrimental results on the health and lives of wanted pregnancies, and the women involved. 

For those who wish to learn, In Her Shoes highlights these stories perfectly.
If you live in Co. Louth and have a story to tell, please contact Dundalk4 Choice and we will write it up on our page.

CW: Miscarriage, foetal tissue, trauma. 

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“I can’t detect the heartbeat” -A dreaded sentence. It still hits me in the face.

I was 23 and pregnant -unplanned but I knew I didn’t want to have an abortion. I had been using contraception, but these things happen. Shortly after we found out I broke things off with my boyfriend as I didn’t see a future with him anyway, and decided to go it alone. It was going to be tough, but I knew it would be the best thing to do for me and my future child.

My first appointment went normally, the nurses were nice, and I filled in the usual forms. I looked a lot younger than my actual age and I was very aware of this, it’s always been something that has worked against me. As there was a query over gestational ageing I was sent for a scan. I think I had missed at least two periods, but was unsure if more. The doctor had guessed I was about 10 weeks along.

Going for the scan by myself everything happened so quickly. “I can’t detect the heartbeat” was all that was said at first, that sentence ringing in my ears and hanging in the air for what seemed like an eternity. As utterly devastating as that moment was, I knew there was no hope. I knew I was far enough along for a heartbeat to be detected. They estimated the foetus to be around 8 weeks or so, meaning the pregnancy had ceased about two weeks prior to my scan. I waited, shocked, to hear about how they would go about a D&C. But it was not mentioned. Instead they hurriedly tried to tell me “there’s still hope as you aren’t bleeding”, and “we just have to wait and see, but there’s nothing we can do”. I was confused, even more confused and lost than I had been at hearing the news I had miscarried. What did they mean, was the scanner broken? Even still, they knew the growth should have been more than 8 weeks along…

The adventures of Blanky and Bicky

This January marks a special time in my life -it marks mine and my beloved's (known as Bicky on the blog -Bicky and Blanky being nicknames we gave each other in the early days) anniversary. Seven years together. Seven fun, dramatic, wonderfully adventurous years spent getting to know each other, and discovering ourselves, too.

So much has happened in that time...

Playing princess (#RepealThe8th)

I left the house for some fresh air, and me and Bicky played around Roche Castle. It's nearly on our doorstep and we had never visited the ruin -slopes and hills are my enemy and I was always put off, however the climb really wasn't half as bad as I thought it was/ as it looks from the road. Encouraged by Bicky, we took the short drive so I could play princess for a while. Wearing my new Repeal The 8th sweater (obligatory, cool photos of which are also a must). Very tired afterwards, but it was worth it... I'll just have to be Sleeping Beauty. 

#IrishPainies

I vaguely mentioned previously, in my 5 year bucket list, that I wished to start an Irish support group for those of us who suffer from chronic pain.

I've never felt that I needed one-on-one counselling, although I have searched for local support systems -For any of my conditions. To no avail. And then of course, even something for general pain. Again, nothing near by. But sure I guess, everything is online these days, and I'm already a member of a couple of Facebook support networks for a few things. However, there's very few Irish based ones. I find these groups a tremendous crutch of support and

My five year bucket list

As mentioned before, I've been working on and implementing a five year mini bucket list -To complete from ages 30-35 (I'm now 31). I like the idea of a short, temporary list, rather than one big, long list... 

Being ill means I don't always have the luxury of knowing what's around the corner, and planning anything can be hard. Life is very much on a day-to-day basis. So no laughing at some of these rather silly, and small hopeful accomplishments! Or nuggies all round! They may not be a big deal to a healthy person, but as I sometimes need help to the toilet these days, they are milestones in comparison. 

It was reeeeeally therapeutic writing this! I suggest everyone does one.

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How to be vegan in Ireland: Food

I've been meaning to write a post like this for a while now, a short guide if you are considering becoming vegan and happen to live in Ireland -A very non-vegan place! Just the food stuff for now. My experiences written here are mostly based around shopping and dining in Dundalk, Ardee and Carrickmacross, so unfortunately, the supermarkets near you may vary -as many Tesco and other supermarkets do from town-to-town.

Vegan Alternatives

Pasta and Breads: I was surprised to find out that a lot of breads are vegan (apart from the Irish soda breads, of course) and store-bought pastas that don't say 'fresh pasta' on them -So no alternatives needed there! Just check the ingredients on packs. Usually allergy words like milk and eggs are in bold.

Spreads and Sauces: In Ireland we have dairy free margarines such as Pure (Sunflower, olive and soya varieties) and Dunnes Stores own brand (which is much, much cheaper, and I think lower in fat) SunLite. If you want to try Pure anyway, it's available in Tesco's and Dunnes Stores. Most tomato based pasta sauces are fine, but again, simply check the back of the jar. Or even better (and healthier) make your own with tinned tomatoes. It's insanely easy and cheap.
I love pesto and that's one thing I missed (there's hard cheese generally in pesto -which I found out recently a lot of people don't realise). I discovered a delicious one in the SuperValu in Ardee (some home-made brand, can't remember the name right now, *sad face*) and then also made my own version... Ok, ok, Bicky made it. He's back to being a part-time stay at home wifey and fur-baby daddy... And apparently a pesto making expert. So easy to make and so delicious... Nom nom... anyway, where was I... Oh mustard. If you're looking for bit of an extra kick in sandwiches, most mustards are grand. Another good one is egg free mayo -available from Holland & Barrett and the PlantGoodness24 website.
And of course, the forever love of every vegan, the one and only, sexy hummus.

Fake Meats (Alternatives): Some vegetarian foods are also accidentally vegan (get used to that term! It's everywhere... Google it if you ever want to read other vegan food lists). Linda McCartney sausages (which in my opinion are waaaay tastier than the Quorn version) are also suitable for vegans (available in Tescos and Dunnes Stores), and Aldi have two vegetarian burgers which also happen to be vegan. Hooray -Check out their "Mae's Kitchen" bean burger and vegetable quarter pounders. I should point out here, that I was temped to put the above items under the "Junk Food" section. They are at the end of the day processed foods and basically junk... Like I'm not against the odd treat, but don't be under the illusion that because something is marked vegetarian or vegan that it is automatically healthy. You can be vegan and eat chips or processed shite all day... You just won't feel very good. In that case, you might as well

On the rag: A note on feminism

It's been a while since I'v had one of my famous rants (famous? ...Yeah, I only have about 10 followers, but I'm still saying famous. Deal with it), and what better subjects than politics and feminism, eh? And yes, yes, I'm totally late to board the train, and I'm sure by now yous all totally get that feminism is not hating on men? And that anti-feminists (or at least the childer who post shite on the internets) simply wish things were 'just like the 1950's' for the oh so pretty lady clothes? Yes, yes?? Good.

Well with that in mind I'll skip over all the obvious stuff and just have a wee chat about this article:
"9 Times When Irish Politics has Been Really Sexist"

At first read I laughed, of course, and I'm sure you will too. They are funny comments. Funny because they are: A.) Outrageous, B.) Oh so very dam Irish and C.) It is human nature to think "well, they were just having a laugh though" ...The latter passed my mind only briefly before I stopped myself. Is it wrong to comment on a women's looks, if you are saying something nice? "Flaming red hair" sounds more of a compliment to me. The argument could be made, that if it was the other way around, would men in politics care so much if they were being commented on? Perhaps not. And perhaps it wouldn't be such a big deal in the media. But the bigger picture is simply that there are less women in politics -and as we all know, women do not have the same rights, respect or pay in many professions. This is where the issue lies, in case anyone reads the article and thinks: "What's the big deal?". It's the same old bullshit of "Oh sometimes black people are racist to white people, ya know!" ...Eh, yeah, of course, and where as this is clearly not right and neither is excusable, there is a difference. The difference being years of oppression.

Examples of being judged on our looks as females is everywhere. There are certain pubs and nightclubs that I just rather not bother going into, that my male friends would have no issue in entering. I don't mind a bit of fun, a bit of joke (after all, social situations