Firstly, the absolute prick, gawked at me when I entered the room, like a bully in the playground staring at the cripple kid -"What's the cane for??" he asked, sounding grossed out (seriously!). Like he hasn't seen a disabled person in a neurology clinic before.
disgruntled, clearly not expecting a case where he would have to do stuff/ expecting to be given files of already diagnosed patients. "Have you not seen the consultant at all?" he asked, again, sounded angry, at ME (!!??!), like I get to somehow choose what doctor I get to see at each appointment.
Until the next appointment with the next specialist, and I feel anxious in the waiting room -Will I get "That's ok pet; that's enough", or will I get "What's wrong with you?"... Or the good ol' "Your body is wonky. You should be in pain".
|My little pal Tubby there in the background ☺|
When I went back to my GP and explained the issue, she was like, right screw this silliness and asked me to lie down on the trolley... She proceeded to perform a poor man's tilt table test. This is often used in Ireland as it's so hard to get a real TTT. However, many doctors are afraid to do the poor man version -After all, ya might faint because of low BP... Eeeemmmm, hello? I stand and walk around ALL THE FRIGGIN' TIME. It's kinda how most humans get about. Standing is a struggle, yes, I feel very dizzy, yes, but I am nearly 31 and have in some ways gotten used to it. Plus if I faint, I faint. Lets not be ridiculous about it.
So it worked, and showed low BP when standing that did not correct itself as with normal people.
Within a few minutes this beautiful, bright and amazing GP proved what others had been trying to attempt in years work of neurology. So, go fuck yourself, neurology, is basically what I take from this whole experience.
From the repeated TTT and and my symptom history, we can just about say dysautonomia. In any case, the treatment for this, for me anyway, is the same -Salt, water, rest/ lying down, elevating legs, compression stockings, and most recently, pain meds and Baclofen. AKA, no exact, medical treatment as such. In fairness, my GP is great and doing what research she can, consulting with her colleagues. But neither of us are experts.
....Annnnyway, back to my recent neurologist appointment:
I should point out that I have been very unlucky. Other people have different stories, even those who may have also visited neurologists in Beaumont... I've just been very unlucky.
Sometimes these type of appointments are just down right humiliating. And I don't want to do them anymore. But I have promised Bicky I will see the pain consultant and of course the ortho in Cappagh. If either of these initial appointments go badly, I will not return for further ones.
But I have to give it a go.
Having a normal life has to be worth another try.